With Howard Davis retiring from Frascold recently, Will Hawkins gathered some stories from the field which typify the humour and character of the man.
oward may be retiring, but we thought it would be good to say farewell in the best way we know - by embarrassing him with some anecdotes.
The other story, thanks to Steve Taliadoros from LU-VE, involves Howard nearly laughing his head off when hearing that someone's legitimate job involved helping pigs to relieve themselves for the benefit of reproduction. Sound dodgy? You are right there.
Read these stories on the ACR Journal website by visiting this link:
(We'd like to publish them here but space is tight and we'd like you to leave your comments on the website!)
Howard Davies - Founding Member of the ‘Ash Clouder’ Club
On the morning of our scheduled return to the UK, we were having a relaxed breakfast when Howard received a call from his wife. We heard Howard’s side of the conversation:
With no flights available and hotel room and car hire prices rocketing, we were desperately trying to establish the best way of getting back to the UK. Without the help of our Italian speaking hosts (that didn’t include Howard), it would have been impossible but by the following morning, we managed to book the last available hire car in Milan, a Citroen Picasso (not ideal for three adults on a long haul drive!). By pure chance, this needed to be returned to France.
We then discovered Howard didn’t have his driving license with him. This being the case, Howard’s main role over the next day and a half was to keep the designated driver awake. He achieved this objective with a relentless flow of corny jokes, anecdotes and morale boosting compliments about the drivers’ impressive powers of endurance driving whilst providing a descriptive commentary on the European scenery.
After a journey through Italy, Switzerland and France we finally arrived in Calais where we crossed the channel as foot passengers. Our ‘luck’ continued because we had a choice of hire vehicle this time: a van or a car smaller than the Picasso!
After leaving Milan on Friday morning, Howard got home to Wales late Saturday evening after collecting his car from Birmingham airport.
Howard was great company throughout our road trip and to this day, Howard, Don and I are still the only members of the exclusive ‘Ash Clouder’ Club.
The IOR Dinner
Neither of us felt 100 % but we attended the dinner, muddled our way through the evening spoke to numerous people. We decided to leave and while walking back to the hotel we could smell a curry in the air.
Both of us said at the same time – “Fancy a curry? Yes go on!”
We promptly went into Bhatti, had some of their finest cuisine washed down with a pint or two of Cobra. After putting the world to rights we left at 1am.
This is now a tradition that we try to keep at any functions we both attend along with pre dinners in case the food being presented to us at the functions are less than adequate!
EARs Exhibition May 2015
Conversations moved to people who had interesting jobs, to which Christina [Taliadoros] piped up:
“One of my close friends is a “Pig Wanker.”
At which point the ‘Wizard’ (Howard Davis) nearly spat his food out. The others stared in disbelief, and promptly the questions began.
‘Are you kidding?’
‘What is that job?’
Christina explained that her friend graduated in animal sciences. Her first job was working at a pig sperm testing facility to check the animals are fit for human consumption.
Christina had to explain that her petite friend had to wrestle on a daily basis larger male pigs to obtain a sample.
As you can imagine a table full of middle aged men couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the story, which conjured vivid images in their minds.
To add to the images in their minds, Christina explained that a pigs male genitals are in the cork screw shape. Hearing that, The Wizard could not breathe as he was laughing and crying so hard. At one point we thought we were going to have to ring the paramedics.
To note her friend no longer works as a “Pig Wanker” and is now a very respectable recruitment consultant.